define this!!!!November: No... you haven't forgotten who Misery was or what he meant you... you just neglect to drop his fucking name unless someone else brings it up. You also neglect to share his history, his story, with the world unless, again, someone else takes that road. Your knowledge of Matthew Lee was never in question. You know every facet of his family tree, career, and maybe even what his favorite food was but you don't seem too interested in actually reminding anyone of any of this. He's a novelty that you put up on the top shelf and bring down only when it's absolutely convenient. Like now... now suddenly you can't get his name off your lips fast enough in order to "put me in my place."

You're fucking worthless, and if you really want me to prove that statement I can and am prepared to go through your entire career federation by federation if push comes to shove. You know what fuck that let's examine the mighty and profound career of Jeffery Drake who talks a big game but has actually achieved very little.

WCIWA? What grand accomplishments did you have there? Who exactly did you topple? What memorial event can we pull from that period in your career that best illustrates your dominance in 97 through 98? A scoreboard comes to mind but otherwise I'm drawing a blank. Oh fine I'll throw you a bone a tag-team title with Ice carrying you all the way.

ICWL? World Championship taken off who? Defeated who? Ran through competitors like who? Do you remember anyone? Anyone at all? Can you recall anything meaningful or significant during your days in the ICWL? Anything whatsoever? No nothing? Just you in a black LA Dodgers cap and a sour disposition for no particular reason other then it made you seem more like Misery?

Then what? Then where did you go? What happened? Where did you next strike after the WCIWA closed shop in 98? What federation did you crush beneath your heel after that? Anything? Nothing? That's right I remember now that's when Shawn was creating magic. Creating the base model for what you would be. Bringing innovation to an industry that had long grown stall and old. This is what he was doing, and you? You sat back and watched and studied what he was doing. Learned how to be him so that when you finally showed up in the Justice Wrestling League in late '99 you were able to step right in and be him. Throw out his same lines, attack his same feuds, do everything just like he had.

Not true you cry? Liar, liar, you wail from the back of the room in your Jesus Christ pose? Then explain why the first thing you did... the first words you directed anywhere were at Styx? WHAT!?! Excuse me? Mister original? Mr. Perfect Hero begins his career by attaching himself to a man that Shawn was embarrassed to even be associated with? You!?! Mr. I'm Not Shawn Twilight, and yet went right after his same feuds? Styx, Kevin Merrix, the M.o.A, Bryan Mercy? But you're not Shawn Twilight right? Your self made... you didn't launch your career off the feuds he'd built and the accomplishments he achieved. No not you. You hit the JWA hard and fast and did exactly the same things Shawn had been doing for the last two-years. By the way what did you accomplish in the JWA? Right you feuded with the M.o.A. WOW! That's really fucking incredibly I can't believe I'm about to face the man that feuded with the scary M.o.A. Where's my lawyer I need out of this one.

So you know what fuck the JWA you were just getting warmed up after all. You still didn't have the whole Twilight thing down perfect because for a brief time you were still trying to be a little Charm like. Trying to stay loyal to the man that got you there, but unwilling to let go of the death grip you had on Shawn's "style". So fuck the JWA it doesn't matter and never will. After all you were hardly there long enough to really make a proper impact. So then what happened? What great thing did you get yourself into next? Was it AOWF 2? Did you participate in AOWF 2 and win the AOWF World Heavyweight Championship? Is that what you did? No... that's not what you did. What you did was throw a tantrum and run away from the sport until early 2000 when the WCIWA˛ opened isn't that right Ramses?

So now here... here in the second WCIWA is where you really started to make your mark as you took on such stiff competition as Styx, Abunai, and the rest of the M.o.A. Oh my fucking God however did you survive that gauntlet? How were you able to beat down the masses and make yourself into a near demigod within the confines of the WCIWA˛? because lord knows outside of the WCIWA˛ you were an unknown. Folks over in the PWA were cheering for Sirus and Chamelion while you were over in the WCIWA beating up on the stupid and retarded. Because while the PWA had been around for a few years and had a history and following behind it. Had made itself into a federation where new talent could really try and prove themselves... you chose the easy route and joined the brand spanking new WCIWA˛ and a couple of months later won a WCIWA˛ World Championship and a AOWF World heavyweight Championship...

From Styx.

That's right your first taste of legitimate gold came from around the bony and cancer filled form of Styx. Holy Christ you are my idol. You beat down an icon... a legend... a real superstar of the sport, and then you shook his fucking hand. You, not me, not Shawn, but you shook his fucking hand because that's how fucking fickle you are. "Styx you're a piece of crap but I'm going to add beating you for these titles to my list of accomplishments, and hell you know what let me shake your hand too because it was a real treat sharing the ring with you." Once again a perfect and wondrous illustration of your fantabulous career and we're only in year three. Man... maybe this highlight reel of your career was a bad idea. I mean I'm really starting to second guess my worth when stacked up next to that, but alas we shall move on. For this is the bed I've made and now I must lay in it.

So then the WCIWA˛ closed and what then did our hero Jeffery Drake do with all his godliness? Did he then go to the PWA and rattle some cages? Stir the proverbial pot? No, no, nothing of the sort. He went overseas and competed against who? Beat what's his name? Complained non stop about the bias? Yeah... I seem to remember plenty of that. You only lost because of that political red tape arm bar was that it? Excuses are lame. You lost because you're really not that good. Oh sure put you in a fish tank with a bunch of other hacks and you'll more then likely rise to the top, but put you in the ring against a garbage man and you fold like a lawn chair. Before we get to that however I must first back track and point out one tiny, small, insignificant moment in the history of your career...

You're match at Paradise Lost. It was against Bane.

WHAT!?! Where the hell did that come from? In 97 Misery threw him in the coffin. In 98 Shawn buried him, and then you, being Mr. Original, dug him back up in 2000 to beat on his tired old ass. And why? What was the point of this Mr. Forward Thinker? Oh yeah that's right no one cared enough to get into a retirement match with you, and those few that did? Well they were all M.o.A and that just would have been an embarrassment. So yeah you dig Bane back up only to bury him again and the rest of the wrestling world is left scratching their heads because they didn't know who in the fuck he was. That's you though Mr. Relevant, Mr. With the Times, Mr. I Can Make My Own Feuds I Don't Need To Depend On Those Before Me.

Now back to the garbage man because this is where I finally come back into the picture... the UWL. It was just you and me buddy and your first taste of American wrestling in months, and you did not disappoint. No not you... you took a loss to a garbage man and went running for the hills. Me, being the good friend that I was, followed after you even though I had already built an impressive fan base and was fast on my way to a title shot, but alas Fatal Charms stick together and that's exactly what we did. We stuck together for awhile as you bounced around from federation to federation until finally... finally we reached number Five where you placed yourself in a retirement match against that true giant of the industry. Against a man who we watched for his entire career of months with our mouths a gap in awe. That's right Jeff... I'm speaking about Abunai.

You went into ffg 5 and faced off against Abunai and won his AOWF Intercontinental Championship. Wow. I mean how you sleep at night is beyond me. You had this second AOWF title without ever defending the AOWF World Championship one time. Yeah... we're all real impressed Jeff. All really, really, impressed. I mean yeah... Abunai. Danger, great danger and all that stuff. Yeah he was something special all right and you really proved to the world, when you beat him, that you're everything you say you are. You're a special guy Drake.

Let's move on because your career depresses me.

Finally you reached your Mecca and the only place you'd do anything that mattered in your career. Anything that anyone would remember you for. You landed in the UW in mid-2001, and finally you have a credible leg to stand on. Finally you competed in an environment full of real, actual, talent... oh and the M.o.A too. You won a couple of titles against real actual wrestlers. You even competed in an actual AOWF event. I'll give you credit where credit is due you did actually perform for nine-months during your entire career. In the UW you shined like the star you never were and without really ever defending your titles you slipped away into obscurity in early 2002 and left a lot of young guys thinking you'd actually performed to this level your entire career. However, it didn't exactly end on a high note because instead of actually accepting a challenge for ffg 6. Instead of actually giving the fans something they wanted to see. You played it safe and invited Styx to your final dance.

You let Styx main event a fall from grace. Yeah, I'm kind of still disappointed in you about that. I mean you had guys like Angel, Sirus, and Marcus Collins. You had actual competition out there and instead of taking the risk you played it safe and went with the geriatric. Again just another fine example of just how stellar your five-year career was. Yep... you took some real risks right there at the end and really gave the new guys something to gush about. Meanwhile the guys who've been around for awhile, the old guard, the guy's who've watched you from day one, can't help but shake their heads and laugh.

Bravo Mr. Drake your career so far has failed to impress me. If it had only been nine-months long then yeah... sure I'd be scared about what might happen come the fall, but considering I've wrestled nothing but worthwhile talent my entire career to where you wrestled nothing but M.o.A lackeys and Ryan Ford I'm beginning to feel more and more confident about my chances. You should maybe tuck that false bravado away and stop believing your own hype. You're not that good. Because you're right...

You're not Shawn Twilight.

You may be ripping off everything he did but you're not him. Just because he's okay with it and doesn't point an accusing finger at you like you do to everyone else who even comes close to sounding a little bit like you... no scratch that, him. Doesn't mean you're even in his same zip code. Oh and never you mind about who's more talented in the ring. I could care less what Shawn could say about you and your leet skills. I'm talking about everything else about your career. He taught you how to talk and you never digressed from his formula. He taught you how to garner attention and you just kept doing what worked. Your "big accomplishments" didn't make you into a "superstar" big guy it was your big mouth. So I'll say it again because I like the way it rolls off my tongue and I like how angry it makes you even after all these years.

You're a Shawn Twilight clone. Always have been and always will. Maybe in the ring you're something different, but when it comes to how you got to where you are now? It's all based on what Shawn did before. Of course I never had that luxury. I was more or less cast aside some years ago and my place at the table was eventually, briefly, occupied by Joshua Roe. Now he... he tried to be different and look where that got him. No where. That's why you have to stick with what works right Jeff?

So while my career may not be as "impressive" as yours Jeff that doesn't stop me from dedicating what there is of my career to my deceased uncle. That doesn't stop me from wanting to keep his name and memory around. Because all though I "obviously" don't know him as well as the rest of you I uh... I had a little meeting and decided that he'd be proud of me for going out there and trying. Win, lose, or draw at least I've tried and I've done it all on my own without the aid and support of The Family. Couple of friends here and there sure, but any accolades I might have I earned on my own. So now I'll take what little I have, however insignificant and trivial it might be, and dedicate it all to the Fatal Charm.

But please feel free to continue speaking for him from beyond the grave because you're all Ghost Whisperer now and stuff ya know?

'night.

((Fade.))